Monday, April 16, 2007

Lizzie Borden Meets Lorena Bobbit

Dear Readers,
While we search for Biff, our editorial director has offered to step into Biff's shoes, and promises to answer your questions with as much humor and insight as our fearless publisher; however, this one has required much contemplation before responding:

Dear James

I am a single woman, aged 24, and I have a strong desire to pull up along-side a man, any man, walking and take him somewhere and have hot kinky sex with him and then dismember him and leave him to bleed to death. I want to cut off his man parts and watch him scream. Is there anything wrong with that?


Dear Lorena,


Ummmmm ... I'm really not sure what to say, other than, "don't."

Unless, of course, you are speaking figuratively, in which case you should always wait until you marry him before you cut off a man's balls.

How about this one, readers? Any suggestions? Please leave comments, because I'm at a loss here.

I hope this helps,

We are at day 106 of Biff Watch, and we are still asking our loyal readers to keep an eye out for Biff. He should be easy to spot: he's over six feet tall, late 40s, prematurely grey hair usually greased back, and prone to smoke a pipe. His personal hygiene tends to slip when he's off on one of his trips, so he may be sporting several days' beard growth.

If you see him, please snap a photo or get some video, and send it to, along with information as to where and when it was shot, so we can track him down.

James Hitchcock
Editorial Director
Red Flag Publishing